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A Fictional Story

July 17, 2010

Welcome Dear Reader and thanks for stopping by.  I thought I would try something a little bit different here at ViewfromBippus and just weave a good story.  People have from time to time told me that I am a good storyteller, usually when I relate experiences from a fishing trip. (Wink,wink)

Any resemblance to live humans or animals is *purely* coincidental.

Once upon a time, (yesterday) there was a poor dirt farmer, (me) who was cleaning up after performing an oil change on his tractor. Looking up, he noticed across the road quite a commotion.  A big red calf with a man holding her tail was running across the yard. The man appeared to be having a good time, holding on in a version of water skiing, across turf.

The turf-skier man had a partner who was leading a black calf across the yard, in training/preparation for the beef show at the County Fair.  The poor dirt farmer (PDF)saw the commotion, and figured he better lend a hand. He proceeded to put his tools in the barn, and head on over.  When he exited his barn the black calf was tied to a power pole, and the red calf was running across the soybean field adjacent to the barn. The two men were following it, but losing ground.

The PDF ran briskly into the beans, and got in the path of the running red calf.  Waving his arms, he caused the excited red calf, who weighs about 699 pounds, to make a U-Turn and head back toward the road.  Excited red calf circled calm and well-behaved black calf, still tied to the pole, before running off Southward down the road. Excited red calf passed the fence of bean field number one, and ran south-southwestward across beanfield number two.

In the meantime, waterski man ran home and jumped on a four wheeler, and hot-rodded it southward to the second fenceline, headed westward and cut off excited red calf from exiting bean field #2, and entering unfenced corn field to the west.  (BTW- unfenced corn field to the west is about shoulder height and runs about a half mile long and a quarter mile wide).  Meanwhile, the other two dudes are walking across the beanfield, (huffing and puffing and sweating like all get out) and trying to encourage excited red calf to remain near the fence to the south of bean field #2.

She did. Until she got to the road.  Then she ambled northward along the road, just ahead of the two walking men, and the one riding man, until she managed to create a stupendous traffic jam.  Well, one pickup truck and one SUV could be an hours worth of traffic on this road, so it was really stupendous.  She faked out the men, threatening to run off into the woods to the east. Then she turned out west again into bean field #1.  The men followed, turned her, but could not catch her lead.  Back into bean field #2.  By now, excited red calf was beginning to change her nature to becoming pooped out red calf with foamy mouth. She was tiring.  South of the second fence is another herd of cattle, and pooped out red calf made it to the fence, where she called out to her cattle mates for assistance.  As the cattle approached her a calming effect (or was it just exhaustion?) came over her.  The three men, still huffing, puffing and sweating profusely eased on up next to her, and speaking ever so softly, reassured her that running off again would be a bad idea.

Of course, the men said this because they were pooped.  They were able to reach her 6 foot lead, and tie it to the hitch on the 4 wheeler, and lead the red calf back to her friend the black calf.  The well behaved black calf.

And they all lived happily ever after.

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